Her Own Hell
by The Strongest Lesbian
Summary: Juvia is falling into her own despair. This is just me writing about how misarable Juvia is and Erza being there for her. Erza x Juvia. Yuri material. Please read it at your own RISK!
1. Depressed Soul

Juvia Lockster. The rain woman. The water mage. A broken and lonely woman behind her cheeky grin. A mask she wears everyday for her guild mates that will never notice the pain behind her happy feature because she made sure they don't. She's been doing this ever since she joined Fairy Tail, she's happy but it will never cease the aching pain in her heart, it will never stop the guilt from gnawing away her life away.

Nightmares from her past haunted her so much that sleeping became hard for her. She refuse to even go near her bed at times. She was gradually growing weaker and weaker. Her strength was seeping away from her body.

 _Gray-sama..._

The person that stopped her curse, her rain. He showed her the blue skies, he showed her happiness. He brought her out of her darkness even though it was only for a while. She loves him with all her heart, soul and body, but he didn't.

"I'm sorry Juvia. I can't return your feeling. I only like you as a comrade, nothing more."

His face haunted her in her dream. The disappointed look on his face during the Grand Magic. She then realised she won't ever win his heart no matter what she do.

She's broken. She's lonely. The curse that will never leave her alone.


	2. Muscle-headed?

"Juvia isn't talking much recently." Mira complained to Erza, who is currently too busy eating her strawberry cake to respond to the white-haired girl. Mira cleared her throat but was in vain. She then snatched away Erza's cake and gave her a glare. Even the S-class requip mage quivered under those glares.

"Did I do something?" Erza asked, successfully hiding back her stuttering voice.

"I was talking to you." Mira snapped back but immediately her demonic face changed back to the lively smile. Mira repeated what she said at the beginning and Erza pondered.

"You are right. I didn't expect less, Gray rejected her after all." Mira glared at Erza once more. "I am just stating the fact."

"Some one needs to talk to her. Someone with no spiky black hair." The white hair mage returned the cake to Erza who happily took another bite from it.

"Why don't you do it then?"

"No. You can do a better job than me."

"What makes you think that?" Erza looked up from her cake and raised an eyebrow.

Mira shrugged before disappearing to the kitchen, leaving the confused Erza alone with her strawberry cake.

 **-few hours later-**

Juvia dreaded going to the guild, she hated the way she had to pretend. The way she have to lie to everyone who are precious to her. Most of all, she dreaded seeing him. Make up can no longer conceal the black circles under her eyes and the tiredness that had taken over her body.

Juvia stood in front of Fairy Tail and yet it seems miles away.

 _Gray-sama…_

She rubbed both of her cheeks and slaps them lightly before faking another huge grin. She have to make it through another long day, at least a few hours before she decided it was too much for her to handle, she will then retreat back to her dorm. She did her usual greets to her comrades. It didn't take long but it felt like forever for the water mage and it took all of her strength to choke up a 'good morning Gray' to the ice mage but all he did was a nod. He was avoiding her, she knows so well. People she love tends to do that all the time. Who want to be with the depressing rain woman after all?

She sat at the very corner of the guild where no one will bother to look at. At least it's peaceful and less stressful here. Then something unexpected happened.

"Juvia." The red head called out and took the seat across the water mage, "Do you want to go out on a mission with me? I need your help for this one."

"J-Juvia doesn't mind." It came out as a whisper. She was tired, mentally and physically. So tired of being in the guild so she thought she could use some time being away. She manage to smile at Erza, who was probably too muscle-headed to realise it was a fake.

"Thank you." Erza said. She then stood up and grabbed the water mage's hand. "Let's go ask master for permission."

Surprised by Erza's sudden action, she was dragged along with it. Everyone was surprised when they see them holding hands and Juvia can't help but blush slightly.

 _Knock knock._

"Come in."

Erza then went into master's office, never letting go of Juvia's hand. Her grip was strong yet so gentle.

"Ahh, Erza. What is it?" Master Makarov asked. Mavis was beside him, probably having a little chat with the tiny master. Erza hands over a piece of paper to master.

"I need Juvia on this S-class mission. May I have the permission to do so?" Erza asked. "She will be in my protection. You do not need to worry."

"Well, it did say that a water mage is required. I will allow it."

Erza simply nodded her thanks before heading out of the room. They went out of the guild before anyone can question them. Erza dragged the water mage all the way back to Fairy's Hill but she stopped in front of the gate.

"Erza-san, y-your hand."

The requip mage's eyes shot up in surprise as she let go of Juvia's hand.

"Sorry." She apologised, "sorry I dragged you all the way here, you just looked like you needed some fresh air."

Juvia nodded.

Then there was the awkward silence. It was awkward but at the same time it somewhat felt comfortable.

"Thank you." Juvia smiles, but this time her smile is genuine. "Juvia will meet up with you outside the dorm tomorrow morning."

Erza chuckles awkwardly and scratched her head. "Okay. I will see you tomorrow Juvia."


	3. Frail Juvia

"Good morning Juvia!" the water mage turned around to see Erza and her mountain of luggage, "how are you feeling today?"

"Juvia feels great," _a lie…_ The water mage didn't get a wink of sleep last night. She was awoken by nightmares of her past and was too afraid to go back to sleep. "How are you feeling, Erza-san?"

"I feel great too." Erza smiled, "let's go now."

It didn't take them long before they reached the train station. They were quiet throughout the trip to River Village where Erza occasionally asks a questions. When they finally reached their destination, Erza offered to take Juvia's luggage as well; saying that adding one more to her many won't affect her at all. Juvia was exhausted from the trip so she let Erza have her way. Probably due to the lack of sleep and food, Juvia was wheezing heavily and they haven't even reach the village yet.

"Are you okay?" Erza was concerned, "do you need me to carry you?"

Juvia shook her head and insisted on being fine. Soon, they could see the village in a distance but it seems like it will still need a few minutes' walk so Erza offered to take a rest in which Juvia was delighted to.

"Are you eating enough?" The water mage nodded her respond but Erza continue to press on. "Are you sure? You look awfully frail right now."

"Erza-san, please don't worry about Juvia. Juvia knows how to take care of herself." Juvia said measly.

"I don't think so." She then took out a bottle of water and handed it to Juvia. "I promised Master to take care of you and I will, regardless of what you are going to say."

"Erza-sa-

"That's final. I'll treat you to lunch later when we reach the village and I'll make sure you finish it as well." Erza said sternly and Juvia replied with a nod.

She knew Erza is very stubborn. Once she set her mind on something it is very hard to change and pressing the matter further will only make her more determined. After a few more minutes, Erza asked whether she was fit to walk now, in which Juvia nodded.

In what seems like forever, they finally reached the River Village. Juvia was asked to sit in the office while Erza went to discuss what they should do with the mission. As she was waiting, Juvia took some time to admire the paintings in the office, each painting was laced with the history of the village. Her eyes slowly scanned the paintings, memorizing each and every details she could possibly see then she froze up as she reached one certain painting.

A woman stood out in the middle of village, surrounded by water, with her arms wide open. Her hair was eerily similar to hers. The white robe she wore could barely cover the long, nasty scar on her neck to her chest. A scar she knew all too well.

 ** _Reyes Lockstar, The saviour of our village._**

 _Reyes?_

She trembled from the new discovery as fear slowly took hold of her entire body.

 _It couldn't be **that** Reyes right? _She refused to believe it is but the evidence is obvious. _It's her…that scar…_

"Juvia?" Erza called, snapping her out of the daze. "Let's go. We have to meet someone."

She nodded her head and followed Erza out of the building. Juvia couldn't help but feel that something horrible will happen and she shiver from the thought of it.


	4. I won't leave you

Her fear was confirmed when she saw Reyes. She stood behind Erza, in hopes to hide herself but it was no use.

"Juvia…" She flinched at the sound of Reyes' voice. "How have you been?"

Erza's eyes widen and tilted her head slightly before eyeing Juvia.

"You know Reyes?" and then realisation struck the sword-wielder. "How could I have not notice this? Lockstar! Same surname as yours."

"Erza-san, Juvia wishes to leave now." Juvia whispered but Erza could hear her desperation and nodded. Juvia was instantly relieved. She was glad Erza's musclehead could sense her fear.

"Excuse me ma'am but my comrade here isn't too well. We will have to discuss this later." Erza spoke out, causing Reyes to frown heavily.

"That will not do. I would like to speak with Juvia please."

"Ma'am, I am truly sorry." Without waiting for Reyes' approval, Erza took Juvia's hand and took off to their hostel.

 **[Few hours later]**

Erza took her sweet time to unpack her luggage before sitting across Juvia. She let out a long sigh,

"Mind telling me why?" Juvia dreaded this question. She knew she will have to tell someone sooner or later but she never thought it would be this soon.

"She is Juvia's aunt." Juvia shifted and started fiddling with her hair. She was trembling slightly as well. "Juvia's parents died in an accident when she was only four, and Auntie Reyes took care of her ever since, but she wasn't a good parent." _Wasn't good_ is considered putting it nicely. Reyes is the worst of the worst. Erza frowned.

"Wasn't a good parent? How?"

"Reyes treated Juvia very ba-

 _Knock knock._

Juvia flinched. Erza gave Juvia's hand a squeeze then went to answer the door. It wasn't surprising at all to see Reyes standing at the door with a big smile.

"Please come. We have a celebration going on right now and I would love to invite both you and Juvia."

"Celebration? What about the monster attack? I would really advise you not to go out right now for it is too dangerous." Erza warned.

"I know. It is also the reason I asked for help. Tonight is our Moon Celebration, it is a tradition we must follow."

"I see. Please give us a moment. We will be down shortly." Erza said while giving her a nod. Reyes nodded back and disappeared down the hall.

Erza turn and looked at Juvia, giving her a concerned look.

"Juvia will be fine. We have to finish this mission." Juvia placed both of her hands on her thighs and looks down. "Erza-san, if anything happens. Just leave Juvia and go back."

"No, I won't leave without you. Even if it costs my life." Erza frowned. "You are my comrade and I promised Master I would protect you."

"I-it's more complicated than you think. Juvia have a bad feeling about it." She knew she wasn't going to make it out of here alive ever since she saw Reyes. There is no way she can escape her this time. Not like how she did last time. "Juvia don't know how to explain it as well."

"I don't need an explanation to protect you. I will do it without hesitation. You know that very well, Juvia." Erza's stare was so intense; Juvia know she wasn't going to win this argument between her and the requip mage.

"Okay."


End file.
